How to Talk to Your Spouse Who Says You Work Too Much

Strong marriages and relationships require attention from both partners. This balance of attention to spouse versus earning a living or furthering your career can be difficult to find. And, once you have found a balance that works in your relationship, things change and you have to find the balance again.

Why do some people overwork? The Overworking Spouse may be under considerable stress on the job, or may have a boss that demands long hours. Or maybe there are layoffs coming up and the less productive workers are the first to go. Maybe one partner has to work long hours just to support the family. On the other hand, the overworking spouse may be strongly identifying with career advancement to the exclusion of the marriage. Of course, we should be involved in work that is worthwhile, fulfilling and financially rewarding but over focus can put the marriage at risk.

What can happen when you put your work/career first? Your spouse may be feeling emotionally disconnected from you and lonely. There may be a buildup of resentment which can lead to anger and finally bitterness-towards you. This situation often leads to unhappiness and discord for the entire family.

As a psychologist who has worked for 20 years counseling couples in my therapy practice in North St. Paul, MN, I met with Amy and Josh with just this complaint. Amy was complaining that she was overburdened because Josh worked too much and left her with the responsibilities of home, children, and her own 40-hour job. He knew she was right but he felt defensive when she tried to tell him how to manage his work schedule. He’d started complaining that when wasn’t very affectionate lately and always blamed her disinterest in their physical intimacy on fatigue. He asked to meet with me individually after Amy had had a session to talk about her “side”of the problem. He was appreciative that she was not as naggy as she had been in the past, but he still felt blamed and criticized.

When Josh and I met, we talked of the reasons that he was spending so much time at work. The usual reasons people overwork is that they are feeling under considerable stress on the job, or may have a boss that demands long hours. Or maybe there are layoffs coming up and the less productive works are the first to go. Maybe one partner has to work long hours just to support the family. On the hand, the overworking spouse may be strongly identifying with career advancement to the exclusion of the marriage.

Drs. John and Julie Gottman, in their book 10 Lessons to Transform Your Marriage, suggest the following questions:

1.What does your work mean to you?

2.What pleasure or satisfaction does work bring to you?

3.What need does working fulfill in your life?

4.Does your work related to some personal legacy you would like to contribute to the world?

In a discussion with Josh, he pointed out that he was trying to make headway in his career now, while he was still young and had the energy. He knew his wife was doing a good job parenting their two small children (3 years and 9 months) so he wanted to focus on earning good money for his family. At first, he couldn’t understand why Amy was complaining so much because he was doing all this work for her and their children. He felt it was his responsibility. He wanted to provide his children with a fund for their education.

I suggested he consider the questions listed above. He said that his work is very satisfying in that he felt very confident and capable at work. He also wanted to meet his father’s expectations who had had a successful career. His older two brothers had moved from job to job and he knew his father was disappointed that they had difficulty supporting their families.

It was important for Josh to understand the underlying reasons for his excessive hours at work. He did not have a demanding boss and he was in no threat of a layoff. He just wanted to do the right thing. He had not thought of himself as having value over and above that of a worker and wage earner. He resigned himself to have a discussion with Amy. He said he would try to listen carefully about what Amy was longing for when she complained to him. I suggested he try to imagine the experiences she wanted to have with him and not to focus on her criticisms.

When Amy and Josh came for the next couple’s session, they wanted to further discuss the overworking situation. (They no longer saw the problem as residing inside one of them but as a problem the two of them need to figure out.) Any was able to explain to him what she missed when he work so much. He came to get a sense that his contribution to their family was not solely a financial responsibility. He heard her tell him he was also loved, appreciated, and needed as a friend, confidant and co-parent. She especially enjoyed his easy humor with their children and felt he was the only one who would be able to provide that.

This was a difficult issue for this couple and it was not resolved quickly. They were able to discuss their needs and wants in a different way when they addressed the questions about the underlying reasons for their positions.

Instant High Paying Jobs For Teens

So you have a teen on the hunt for a half decent job but what are their options these days. Everyone is telling them to baby sit or get a paper delivery job but both are time consuming and pay third world country rates when it comes to money in their pocket. It is even harder trying to land a job position that has been advertised somewhere as employers receive hundreds and hundreds of applications when advertising in the current job market.

A recent study shown that it is now taking the average person 4 – 7 months to find new employment and they expect that period of time to lengthen substantively over the next few years.

So what can I do you say, well thanks to modern technology all this is about to change. The days of searching endlessly for employment are fast coming to an end as the internet slowly takes over and starts filling this increasing need in the teen job market. When it comes to jobs for teens it is now possible for them to land their dream job in under ten minutes no matter who they are. When they take a job online there are no lengthy, intimidating interviews to go through and their application is always accepted no matter where you live or what qualifications they may or may not have. When you compare this to the difficulty of applying for and getting a normal advertised job it is no wonder that thousands of teens are switching to paid online jobs.

Paid online work beats traditional jobs hands down every time. Online jobs these days mostly consist of completing online survey's as these are generally higher paying when it comes to the types of work you can do online and they make fantastic jobs for teens. Most of these places are free to join and once they have signed up they can then start taking surveys and get very well paid for it. Most teens that are doing these surveys are at least $ 10 for a twelve minute survey with the money getting transferred to their account on completion.

The surveys themselves are extremely easy to complete and there is an unlimited number of different types of surveys that can be taken. There are no set times that they have to work, teens can quickly and easily work at their own pace as often or as little as they like each week, it's up to them. By just taking 3 surveys per day, 5 days per week, a teen is capable of earning $ 150.00 per week. Just try finding a job anywhere else that pay's as well as this that will hire them instantly.

Which survey companies they end up joining makes a huge difference to how much money they make. Pick the wrong ones and they could end up working for $ 2 – $ 5 per hour and getting very frustrated. Out of all the "Free To Join" paid survey sites online today there are only a small list of survey companies that have the genuine higher paying surveys available on a daily basis. Joining all of these top 7 companies ensures that they have and endless supply of high paying surveys to take every day when they log in.

So the choice is up to them, with the state of the current job market are they going to keep blogging.

Furniture Store Marketing – Generate Tons of Customers by Partnering With Other Furniture Stores

Partnering with other home furnishing stores is a joint venture strategy that most home furnishing store owners have probably never even considered. It is probably because this joint venture strategy will require you to be really confident and comfortable in your own business.

Otherwise it would seem like you are risking losing your customers to another furniture store, but that is not true. The key to this strategy is partnering with other furniture store companies that do not sell the same types of products that you sell. Now, just to be clear about this strategy; you will not be switching lists with other home furnishing stores, you will be creating a in store coupon or referral program to use this strategy.

Partnering with other home furnishing stores allows you to gain access to customers who you certainly know are in the market for home furnishings. For example, if there is a store in your area which sells picture frames, fake plants and other various home supplies, ask them to allow you to have a podium stand or counter display stand filled with coupons as a bonus for shopping at their store.

In return you could have the normal mailing to your customers or also allow them to have a floor display on your showroom floor. There are many ways to manage these types of joint ventures, so be flexible and ask your potential partners about their specific needs and wants.

Examples can include stores that sell:

Washers & Dryers

Television & Electronics

Windows

Custom Closets

New Year Gifts – Innovative and Different

What things come to your mind while thinking of the right New Year gift? It can be a show-piece, or any similar item. We can think of something different also – say a photo-book, a personalized mug, or a simple T-Shirt.

Create canvas print

A nice photo, printed on canvas and framed as per your choice, is the right option for a nice New Year Gift for the occasion. A gemstone will not be as precious as a canvas print of the favorite photograph. In case your friend stays far away then you can send a roled-out print. The rolled-out print has extra one-inch white space to use while framing. Someone close expect something personal and what's better than mounted and ready to hang – canvas-printed photograph. The frames are made out of high-quality wood which is best to hang and portray. It will definitely bring a sweet smile on the other person's face all year through.

Create nice photo-book

How about the memorable events of your life printed in a photo book. You may take lots of time to create one but the other person will really understand your feelings and efforts put together. A nice photobook is treasured till the time of death. It is indeed the most special New Year gift for the most loved person. Some photo-sharing sites help create memoirs out of your memories and photobook is one of them.

Personalized mugs

Get a nice photo printed on the mug and place the order as per your choice. The photo sharing site will print that photo and create a nice magic mug as New Year Gift to your kid.

Name Calendars

This is the most special New Year Gift. One can choose among the various photographs to be printed for different months on the calendar. Put the names to be printed on each page of the calendar. These names may be of different person or for the same. The income will be worth adoring and worth a million dollar gift for the closest person on earth. In fact, you can simply place the calendar on the work-desk of the person concerned-for a beautiful surprise.

These are some of those personalized New Year gifts which are meant to strengthen your relationship, friendship and whatever relation you are in.